Friday, June 24, 2011

"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."

I’ve fallen in love again.

This time, it’s with everyone. I have always loved being around a lot of people and at the same time, have loved being alone. But at this stage in my life, I don’t want to be alone. Not because I’m afraid of me or of being bored, but because I can’t get enough of everyone. This might scare you; as a reader you are probably my friend, one whom I've just declared love for.

Friends are amazing because they support you when you are down. They support you when you are up. And they support you when you just are.

People are social creatures. We like to spend time with other people, belong to various groups and networks, find companions and live as families. I plan to research this but for this post's sake, will politely take a rain check.

This is a picture of friends.
I don't know any of them...but they seem fun.

Too often we find ourselves in the situation where we haven't seen someone we care about or would at least like to spend some time with, for months or even years. I am guilty of this and am officially declaring an end to the practice of letting that much time pass before reconnecting. It is an especially difficult reality to face (that you've neglected a relationship) when the person in mind is in physical proximity.

On reconnecting with those who are nearby
This idea came to light when I had dinner last night with my girlfriends from high school. I see them from time to time, some more than others, but when we're all together and having fun, it's just like the old times, but with more wine. I have a soft spot for nostalgia. I often want to be in junior high or high school or college or studying abroad for another day. Since that isn't entirely possible, I can focus on living in the moment, which often feels like much of the happiness I've experienced before. These girls and I have grown together-from wearing slap bracelets to wearing engagement rings.

On reconnecting with those who aren't so nearby
I decided today to go through my phone book and send a text to some people that I hadn't talked to in a while, just to see how they were doing. One friend responded that it was "so good to hear from you" and that made those 5 seconds of texting SO worth it. All of the people I text seemed pretty happy about it. This goes to show that a few seconds or minutes of your time can make a difference in a relationship. It definitely brightened my day.

On reconnecting with those whom you have hurt or who have hurt you
I recently reconnected with a college friend whom I had many disagreements with in the past. But as time passed and ill-feelings faded, I found that there were indeed things that I liked about her. I used to say, "If I don't have enough time for the friends I really want to see, then I shouldn't use the time I do have with her." I've remolded my outlook to first, not be so rude, and second, to decide that people are people and they usually have good intentions.

I also lost touch with another friend from college. We had a less-than-perfect ending and for the past year have text and facebook messaged each other to attempt a rendezvous. It finally happened a couple of months ago and it felt so great to catch up. I will make a conscious effort to keep it going and not have to use the phrase "catch up." We have had too many experiences and memories to not continue them.

My sister was struggling with whether or not she should befriend someone from her past that she felt she had wronged. I told her that the worst outcome would be that the girl would deny the friendship request (interesting how facebook has shaped our lives). The girl accepted the request and I have a feeling that this is only flowing to a better place than where they were before.

On what you can do
I challenge you to make a change in your social realm. Maybe you are a butterfly and you don't have any enemies. But I bet there are at least some people that you would talk to more, given the time and opportunity. Here is your time and here is your opportunity. Send a message. Make a phone call. Make a date. Do something, anything. 

There is a thing called the internet and a thing called a telephone and used separately or together, they have super powers.

I'm in the process of mending what I thought were broken bridges. Turns out, a lot of things can be repaired with an apology, an invitation to make things right again, and perhaps some Gorilla Glue.


  1. We are EXTREMELY social creatures. I could talk to you about this. And show you some sources to look into. I've learned a lot about it in psychology and some of my sociology classes. And philosophy believe it or not.

    The quote on the picture made me giggle.

    As far as letting time go without seeing people, we're all guilty of it. "I'll call you next week" turns into a month or two later and you're like OH EFF I DIDN'T CALL YOU. Justina and I have been trying to get more time together since she hates technology yet that's what I rely on to keep in contact with friends. That is a battle there my friend.

    And I WILL make a change in my social realm. I'll go out and do something tonight I normally would say no to :)

  2. Yay for Jessica! And yay for us making more time for each other and our other friends! Please do enlighten me with the research. :)


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