The Heart of the Matter

Happy February! I love the beginning of every month and every year because it feels so fresh. This month is many things: Black History Month, Heart Health Month, the month of Valentine's and mushy gushy things, and this year, it's a leap year! 29 days to recognize some really great things. 

I've known a handful of people who have had heart attacks. Some have thankfully survived them, and some have not. My dad's best friend, who in turn, was one of my favorite people in the world, passed away in 1996 due to complications from a heart attack. It was the first funeral I remember and one of the saddest, if you could even put them on a scale. And more recently, as in within the past couple of weeks, someone close to me had a heart attack and will undergo surgery next week. 

So, as people who are young and able to change the course of their future pretty easily, I think it's time to change. (Yes we can!) I received a nifty calendar from SparkPeople (thanks to Ash for that website recommendation) of 29 days to improving your heart health. I've always known cardio exercise was important and I've gotten my fill through running. But now, I'm placing a greater emphasis on it. No longer do I run only to lose weight, but to strengthen my heart. After all, "The heart is a muscle. So treat it like one." 

With this, I vow to make some changes in my life: 
1. Cook meals on the stove, not the microwave. I tend to eat Lean Cuisines because they are fast and easy, but chock-full of sodium and micro-waves. 
2. Decrease my intake of red meat, eggs, fried foods and foods with high cholesterol. Be mindful of cholesterol in general. 
3. Exercise. I'm running for a plethora of reasons and now I have more motivation to get to the trail, track or treadmill. 
4. Sleep. I am in dire need of a bedtime. 
5. Be mindful of actions. Mostly because I couldn't end the list at four. Oh I know, decrease the alcohol intake. There. 

A heart attack is just that. An attack. An ambush. No one expects that they will have one; it most certainly comes as a surprise. And what do you do when you know you may eventually be under attack? You prepare. You draw your armor out. You round up your defenses and fight your hardest. 

So be healthy for your heart, yourself, your family and your friends. They all want you alive and well for as long as humanly possible. We're given one body that's meant to last decades - take care of it. And again, happy February. <3

"To be, or not to be, that is the question:"

My internal monologue is in a fight with itself.

It can’t decide whether or not it wants to pursue grad school.

It’s been thinking about it ever since it was in college.

It has always thought this was the path for it.

It now has its doubts.

Now that I’ve exhausted my need to talk in the third/odd person, I’ll get real. Academics have always been an integral part of who I am. If I wasn’t making a ridiculously intense study guide for a test that only counted for 5% of my grade, I was overachieving on a PowerPoint presentation with just the right amount of bells and whistles. CSOM at the University of Minnesota requires that you work for two years in a real, big-girl (or guy) position before attempting graduate school. Naturally, my path was going to be to graduate, work for two years, then apply for graduate school. I even was going to take my GMAT and apply early to ensure that I would begin class at the start of the end of my two years of working. Wrong.

It has now officially been two years and a month since I began working in my big-girl job. And while I still have the GMAT in the back of my mind, the test preparation book is collecting dust on my bookshelf that is crowded with materials I actually want to read.

I’ve been looking a lot to the people who surround me for inspiration or motivation in one direction or another.

Two of my best friends are in the psychology field, so basically grad school is already on their life plate. I think this has slightly influenced me. If my friends are going to be so highly educated, maybe I should be too.

Another friend who studied himself crazy for the LSAT for months decided that he actually didn’t want to take it, nor did he want to be a lawyer at all. Then, he moved to Taiwan to study Chinese.

Yet another friend went to grad school and now cannot find a job.

Then I have all my friends who are happily working and would not go back to school even if they were paid to.

The pros are:

Learning from professionals with work experience

Meeting new people who have similar interests

Challenging myself to balance work and school

Having the opportunity to study abroad again (a month at most)

The cons are:

Paying ridiculous amounts for tuition

Buying books and other materials

Driving at least an extra hour each day

Paying for parking

Only being able to do it part time

Balancing work and school

Reducing the size of my paycheck by at least fifty percent

Studying, taking tests, writing papers, doing homework, giving speeches, writing dissertations…

Anyway, some of the things on the cons list are petty, but the fact that I routinely list them as cons probably means that I’m trying to make the cons seem more intense so that I can justify not going to school. Part of me feels like a failure for admitting that I’m not going to have more than an undergraduate degree. The other part says, "who cares?"

I feel a teeny bit excited to finally put this to rest and pursue other things I am passionate about. I’m currently working on a project that has taken up a lot of my time, but because I think the research is fascinating, I know it is important to me. [More on this later].

Is there anything in life you wish you did, but didn’t? Is there something your internal monologue is arguing about?