Slump

I've been a bit absent from this blog lately; not because I don't have thoughts swarming my mind on an hourly basis, but because I haven't the energy to transcribe these whirring fragments, stories, and ideas into tangible structures.

And now, it's grown to the point where I need some sort of outlet, what this blog was meant to be in the first place. I've often thought that I don't want to be a collector of disheartening memories of the lower points of my life. I did enough of that in the past. I have the heart-wrenching hand-written journals to prove it. But this is real life, my friends, and while my blogs are meant to remember the good and cultivate happiness, sometimes I just can't feel content 100% of the time.

Up until 2009, I was quite the pessimist. I drained myself and the people around me because I was so insecure, unsteady, erratic. Then, something changed. Maybe it was the natural order of growing up. Maybe it was talking to someone that helped. Maybe it was studying abroad, changing lifestyles and the people around me. Whatever it was, I began to feel happy. More specifically, the past year has been an overwhelming abundance of happiness. Even when situations should have wore me down, I faced them with more confidence and level-headed thinking than ever before.

This past month, I feel like I lost that magic cloak of content. Every area of my life has me feeling that I'm engaging in a losing battle; my to-do list is never ending and my stress level increasing. There's a nail in my tire and all of the air and energy is slowly seeping and escaping my hold. It could be that I'm in a slump at work. It could be more things demanding my time and attention. Lack of sleep. Lack of motivation to exercise regularly. Poor eating habits. Disinterest in several things, even writing at times. My life is messy, cluttered, frantic, overbooked; it's a gnarled sweater that is slowly unraveling from  both here and there. 

So what will I do after I am done venting to the Internet? I will learn how to knit it all back together, one string at a time.

Happy Blogiversary to Me!

The days are long, but the years are short. 

It has officially been a year since I started this blog and as you might have guessed, it’s completely hard for me to believe. 365 days and 96 blog posts later, and here we are. Just like a birthday, holiday, or any other annual event, I like to look back and understand what has become and imagine what can still be.

What has become: 

• I have taken time to think and thank Thanksgiving-style. You know, where you go around the table and say one thing you’re thankful for? I have done that much more frequently because of this blog. 
• I’ve created an archive of memories from the past year. I can look back on photos, thoughts and ramblings from any given time, provided I wasn’t slacking in posting. 
• I’ve cultivated happiness. Looking back on my very first post on this blog, this was exactly my aim. 
• I’ve gotten through Mondays by focusing on the positives and dreading the Mondayness of it all a little less. (I ought to get back to this) 

What I still imagine: 

• More small victories, whatever they may be. 
• More crafting and siphoning of creativity. 
• Better writing with more thought, new vocabulary, and higher articulation. 

And here are some of my favorite posts from the past year: 
My first post (Just a newbie!)
"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships" (I love people)
Do the write thing (I love hand-written notes)
Things fall apart (So better things can fall together)
I am so thankful (Thanksgiving-style, like I mentioned)
Resolve to do something better (2012 Resolutions)
The Heart of the Matter (Heart Health)
Letter to my 30-year-old self (See ya in five years!)

Happy blogiversary (what a gross word) to meee!

When life hands you lemons...

You may think they are sour.

Or you may even think they are sweet.

You might want to cover your eyes and hope they go away.

But you ought to make lemonade!

Photos by Amber Rishavy // www.pixeldustimages.com

Letter to my 30-year-old self

I've always loved the idea of writing letters to my future self to see how things were and if they've changed. Chances are, they have.

With three 30th birthday celebrations this month, I thought "What will I be like when I'm 30?" Who will be in my life and where will I be professionally, socially, life-ally, etc.?

So here, 30-year old self, a letter:

Dearest Jennifer,

I hope you're reading this on your blog "She Knows This Much is True" that you started in 2011. If you're not, you're a super-genius because this is the only place you're putting this. So you should keep blogging because otherwise the Google Gods will probably take your site away and then you'll never read this.

Anyways, I hope you're married by now, to that boy Zebulon and that you've started a band called Jenulon or Zebbifer. Just kidding on the second part. I hope you're thinking about having kids if you don't have any already. And I hope you dress them up real cute like those J.Crew ads you always admire a little too much. Seriously, stop ripping out pictures of that little Asian girl in Crewcuts and giving them to your sisters as inspiration.

I hope everyone you love is still around. This means your family, your friends, your puppies. Maybe some of the wuppies will be gone, but if they aren't, you are one lucky bizzo! I hope you're still saying bizzo. And I hope you're still stealthily taking photos of bizzos in public who shouldn't wear see-through clothes to a baseball game.

I hope you've changed positions in work and are working hard with your sisters to make your dad's company even better than it already is. I hope you feel happy in what you do daily and that you don't have carpal tunnel from all of those crazy data entry stints. Maybe you've got JB Data Collection down to an art form. I hope so! Right now it's still just a dream. I hope ISO audits are the breeziest and you don't tear your hair out over them. 

Are you still blogging over at T & L? I hope so. I hope you've met friends there and are happy with it and inspired by it. Remember, you wanted to start it to express yourself, but also to meet people who shared your interests. Have you met any of them? Or do you just tweet with them? Are you still being run by a computer? 

Did you ever run that 1/2 Marathon? Did you run more of them? Anything crazier? Do you feel healthy and look healthy and feel good about how you look? I sure hope you do. You always struggled with that. I think you're becoming a better you already though.

I have a feeling you are still the same way when it comes to packing your schedule with every possible thing you can. Do you still do nerdy things like craft and send letters? I hope so. If not, get on that, girrrl.

Have you had a reunion with your HK buddies yet? Have you gone back to Asia? You should go back to Asia, yo roots. Did you make it to Ireland or England? Also do that. Have you worked on your fake English accent anymore? Hope so, it needs a little work.

And last, Jennifer, I hope this leaves you feeling happy and accomplished and super schmawesome. I also think it's time you write to your 35 or 40-year old self. KTHXBYE. (Do you still say that? KTHXBYE?) Yahahhaa. (Or how about that?)

xx
Yo self

Return to Blog Land & Seattle

Annnnd a month later, I have returned to this little blog. This is the longest it has been between posts on SKTMIT since I started it, and I’m sorry for neglecting you. I have found this to be true of my personality: I discover something, fall in love with it, work at it, feed it, breathe it, then somehow it drops off my radar. (This is not true for people or animals, luckily. Just fads, music, foods, habits, and the like.) Anyway, most of my Internetting energy has been over at Treble and Lace, so if you’re interested in those parts of my life, then head on over. Otherwise, here’s an update on this side. What have I been doing for the past month???

Friends from Michigan came into town and I spent a weekend going out with them, the next weekend I saw Florence + The Machine and celebrated my boyfriend’s graduation. After that, it was my boyfriend’s Grandma’s 80^th birthday – it was a surprise party and part of me thinks you shouldn’t surprise older people, but she reacted pretty mildly. “Oh, everyone from my life is here. How nice!” My grandma’s 70^th birthday was the following day but I sadly had to miss her celebration. (Side note – my other grandma’s 90^th birthday is coming up in July. A 70^th, 80^th and 90^th birthday in the same year, KEWL!)

Then it was off to beautiful West Coast, where the boyfran and I spent a week going to bed early, waking up early, running, walking, eating, drinking, and hanging out. I’d much rather post photos here or on T & L than on Facebook, so here you go. Although, I might start actively using Google+, but as you know, it will only be for a burst of time.

{Morning run}

{Ampersand on a stick!!}

{Obviously}

{Wish I had a kitchen in Seattle}

{My favorite}

{Fresh lunch}

{Trying to eat the field}

{Ichiro}

{My camera has awesome zoom}

{Another installment of our MLB stadium tour}

{Saving some Safeco dirt}

{I like when things are not the size they should be and I'm trying to avoid a TWSS moment}

{Brunch}

{Freeway Park}

{Gum, anyone?}

{Last night in Seattle, out of sequence}

{His alligator shoes had red tips on them}

{My first train ride in the US!}

Oprah knows this much is true.

I came across a little card that listed Oprah's "What do you know for sure?" and these were her 10 things at the time:

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)
2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.
3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.
4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)
5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.
6. What you believe has more power than what you dream, wish, or hope for. You become what you believe.
7.  If the only prayer you ever say is "thank you," that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)
8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.
9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.
10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

I like to think of things I know for sure, what I know is true. I'll be back with my own thoughts soon. What do you know to be true? (PS happy weekend!)

Remember Me

Two ladies from my work retired yesterday. One has been with the company for over 30 years, and the other for over 10. In 10 or 30 years of working with the same people every day, you begin to learn a lot about them.

Sometimes I really like my coworkers, sometimes I loathe them, and other times I am indifferent. I've said it before though - these are the people with whom you spend the majority of your days, weeks, months, and years, so maybe you should try and get along. You drive to the same place and work and breathe the same thing; you're bound to have a thing or two in common. Being part of a family business even further instills this in me and each time someone is let go, retires, quits or gets fired, it feels like a personal loss to me. (Is it a coincidence that hire, retire and fire all rhyme?)

As part of the retirement gifts, a few of us put together a scrapbook for each of the ladies, complete with memories written by other coworkers. One of the ladies was easier to write about than the other. She was here longer, she reached out to more people, and she had more bounce in her step. This got me thinking. How do I want to be remembered? I think about how I want to be remembered by my family, friends and people I knew through school, but I never really think about how I want my coworkers to remember me once I retire. Probably because I am one billion years away from that part of my life. (This brings up both feelings of "Oh God!" and "Thank God!")

I see my coworkers stressed out (aren't we all?), huffing and puffing and sighing at every turn. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and despise your day, but all of the time? C'mon. I see others not wanting to talk to their coworkers, scowling at people and inanimate objects. I see the ones who come to work to get their tasks done and nothing more. And frankly, it's draining to be around these people.

And then I see the ones who smile at everyone. The ones who are helpful, even when they have a mountain of crap on their desk. The ones who will go out of their way to solve a problem, without expecting extra praise or reward. The ones who do their job well and aren't devils in the process. (Side note: devils are like people of evil / people d'evil! This is not real etymology, I just like to pretend to speak French). Anyway...

There is such a thing as being happy at work. I am going to try and find that place every day and be positive. When it comes time to remember me, I don't want people (even me) struggling to remember something good.

How do you want to be remembered?

Resolve to do something better.

Happy 2012! The New Year seems to always go hand-in-hand with resolutions and new beginnings. I like Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project idea of always having resolutions. Ever since I read her book for book club last summer, I have had a Resolutions Chart. This chart is something I kept up every day at first, then my dedication waned and waxed and waned. It's hard to keep resolutions every day, but it's sure worth a try.

I had daily, weekly, monthly, and annual resolutions. The daily ones included drinking 8 glasses of water a day and taking my contacts out by 10pm. The weekly and monthly resolutions included hanging out with each group of people I like to hang out with (yes, I had a spreadsheet for hanging out with friends), exercising five times per week, spending time with JUST the boyfran and not in a big group, reading a book every month, scrapbooking, etc.

This year will be more of the same, with a few minor adjustments. My broad resolutions go a little something like this:

Easier said than done. I will be one of those people who is always drinking water.

You know, this is the toughest battle for me. There's just so much to do in awake life. But no sleep makes for a very tired and probably less productive awake life.

Hahahaha. No, but really.

I had a goal of running 300 miles this year but made it just short of 200. This year I will stick to my goals and be healthy for the sake of being healthy. Oh, and my stinky sister convinced me to sign up for the Minneapolis Half Marathon in June 2012, so there's that.

I want to put intention in my thoughts, words, and actions. 

There is always, always room for improvement and growth and education. I am continuously learning at work, in my social groups, and even on this little blog. It's amazing what having a passion for something can do to how much you know about it.

My life is so full of things and thoughts and tasks and events. I need to break it down and breathe.

In 2011, I achieved my goal of donating money or time every month. This year I plan to do more of the same, with a little more focus on the volunteering portion of it.

Driving up North makes me wonder why I don't do more exploring in my own state. I'm always dreaming of globe trotting, but I want to state trot as well! 

This has been surprisingly easy for me in 2011. If you know my past, you know that this was not always the case. For some reason, I rarely find time to be discontent. Maybe that reason is you. Maybe that reason is me. Maybe that reason is my quest for happiness.

All in all, this is what I want to do: Be great every day. 

Happy New Year everyone, make it a good one!

I am so thankful.

Obviously I was going to post today. There are so many things to be thankful for, and since a lot of this blog is dedicated to recognizing and appreciating those things, it's only natural that I write about them today!

Where do I even begin?

For starters, there are things that I am thankful for every day and while I don't discount them, they go into a short list here:

1. Health.

2. My five senses. 

3. Freedom.

4. Shelter, food, clothing, a car, a job.

5. Love and happiness.

Now on to the main event: people. None of the aforementioned blessings would matter at all if it wasn't for great people in my life. And here they are:

Family. I love my family! This year we have the addition of Mr. Kevin and it's pretty exciting to have a new brother. At the end of this year, we'll have yet another addition in the form of an itty bitty baby!

Boyfran. See this post. (Also his awesome, welcoming family!)

The girls. I’ve known these ladies since I was 9 or 10 years old. Enough said.

The girls. These are the people who made college so exciting. We shared school, parties, and Stinkytown Dinkytown. I even got to live with…all of them.

Show-goers. Music is the air I breathe and since I have the need to go to a bazillion shows, it’s been awesome to have accomplices.

HK boyz. These are the people who I spent almost every day of my time abroad with. They are all hilarious and insanely smart. I’ve gotten to see some of them since we’ve been back, but I’m still waiting for a reunion with the international ones.

HK penpals. After three years, these girls still write to me! You don’t know how great it is to get mail from them, adorned with silly Hello Kitty stickers. 

HK people in general. Reunions are my faaavorite and it's super fun to have friends around the world.

Bookclub. My fellow nerds literary aficionados keep my brain sharp and are fun to meet for dinner every month. Still waiting on that magnum bottle of wine.

You. Whoever you are.

Every person has added to my life in such a special way, and I really am grateful for each and every one. (Also the ones not featured here, who I maybe haven't seen in a while). Here is to more communication, more reunions, and remembering the awesome times we’ve shared. Happy Thanksgiving people, you rock my world. 

Scary Monday

Happy Halloween friends!! Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, especially when it falls on a weekday. This is because you then get to celebrate more than once (weekend and actual) and you get to celebrate it at work like we're doing today. 


Things that I love about Halloween that make me happy on this Halloweeny Monday:
1. Candy. My teeth are rotting as we speak and I'm going to decrease my intake in general...but maybe not today.
2. Disguise. Since we're ourselves pretty much every day, it's fun to step outside of that role and be something we're not. In this case, Snow White.
3. Black and Orange. Even my phone is festive with these colors right now.
4. Community and Trust. When else can you go door-to-door and expect strangers to give you something that you like and can (sort of) benefit from? (Don't think about the movie Candy Man).
5. Fall. Halloween is SO fall.
6. Pumpkins. Picking, carving, displaying, eating the seeds. 
7. Fright. I'm the biggest scaredy-cat on the planet, but it's fun to do something that spooks you. But I don't intend on watching seventeen scary movies like Jes or Zeb have been doing.

8. Apples. Except for when I'm Snow White.

9. That Festive Feeling. Work is bubbling with excitement and it's nice to have more fun at that place you go to every day.

10. Humor. Where do ghosts go out? [Anywhere they can get sheet-faced].

I hope your day is spooktacular, filled with more tricks than treats (and maybe some puns), and that you have fun!

Oh, and, from the weekend:

Merry Monday

This past weekend was chock-full of activity and so I'm hanging on to the moments of the weekend a bit before I move on with the present. Cooking dinner with my boyfriend, hanging out at a going-away party, watching (and biking along) the TC 10k, sticking around for the TC 5k, attending a Rustic Harvest Fest (bluegrass fundraiser for Second Harvest), playing Yahtzee all night with friends, fervently cheering for the TC Marathoners, going for a warm boat ride despite it being the beginning of October, and finally watching Hot Tub Time Machine*, made this weekend a great one.

But alas, it is Monday and the start of a new week of spreadsheets, documents, production lists, and meetings. I have a feeling though, that this week is going to fly by because I have something planned every night of the week, weekend, and then I'm off to vacation. 

This is what I'm looking forward to:

1. Bush and Chevelle concert. I've loved the band Bush for a long, long time and to finally see them live is exciting! I saw Gavin Rossdale before when he fronted Institute, but it wasn't the same. He did sing Glycerine though as the encore. And he did sign a poster for me. And he did take a picture with me. And he did HUG me. And he did hang out with me behind what was then the Quest Club. I'm not bragging. [Yes I am]

2. Massage. I've been sitting crumpled in my work chair for months and months and lifting things at work and aching throughout. Time to fix 'er up!

3. MN Fashion Week events with friends. I pored over the articles and videos about NY Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week, it's time to indulge in style in my own town. Oh, and I wrote about it here.

4. Grouplove concert. I first saw them at Lollapalooza in August and their energy was insane! Hopefully they've got some new songs up their sleeves since they are headlining.

5. Movie. Since my book club ladies aren't going to go see it, I'm going to see The Help with at least one of them. 

6. Boyfran. Boyfran is going up North and coming back the day I leave for a trip. Then he goes on another trip a week after I get back. Fooey! So I'm going to hang out with him as much as I can.

7. Birthday. I think my friend is doing something for her birthday, in which case I will join.

8. Head and Heart with Thao concert. OMG! I can't wait. H&H is one of the only albums I listen to thoroughly and know almost every word of every song, just from listening and not from practicing with lyrics in front of me like I've done in the past.

9. Zombie Pub Crawl. Braiiiins.

10. I don't have a tenth thing, but I can't have a list of nine.

*Hot Tub Time Machine is one of those movies that surprises you by how good it is compared to what it first seemed. (Among the ranks of The Girl Next Door and Easy A). 

Fog people & sun people

Who are you today? A fog person or a sun person? Choose to be a sun person. (The high for today is 78 degrees, it shouldn't be too hard!)

A little bit of inspiration

Mr. Lincoln had a lot of great thoughts. This is one of them:

That is all. Happy weekend!

You are Possible.

Every time a friend's blog starts, Jennifer's heart sings.


I have an overwhelming sense of happiness when I hear that one of my friends has entered the blogosphere. Sometimes, I literally jump up and down. I know I'm still a rookie, but it's awesome to hear that I have played even a little role in someone else's adventure. What's even more excellent is when a friend tells me I inspired her to start a blog, and then her friend is inspired by her to start a blog, and then and then and then.


As you may know, I have a special spot in my heart for writing. Writing is its own therapy and allows us to articulate whatever emotion or thought is bubbling inside us. It's amazing how far back it dates (someone look this up for me) and how it preserves thoughts, events, and feelings. (I don't like the mushy connotation that the word "feelings" has). Writing is a spectacular form of communication, like I gushed about here, and it's pretty amazing that humans developed it in the first place. Don't even get me started on language itself.


Back to the part about my friends being awesome-I assume that since you're blogging, you're okay with it being publicized. So here you/they are in birth order:   


If you are living life to the fullest and enjoying every little bit: then you should Know I Lived.
If you appreciate life and want to cook delicious meals: plan a trip to Spicyland.
If your thoughts are on design and style, inside and out: mind your head and Pear of Hearts.
If you wonder how it's possible to leave your career for your passion: you ought to be Stumbling Towards Bakery.
If you like philosophy and making your life happier: close your eyes and Imagine Rappy Happy.

One last tidbit before I get off the internet for crying out loud: 

My heart is so full, it just may burst. We. Are. All. Possible.

The Main Attraction

I have officially decided that St. Anthony Main is one of my favorite places. Tonight I had my first taste of Wilde Roast Cafe, which was as fantastic as I imagined it to be. I started out with a sweet wine, had a turkey BLT with fries (sprinkled with shredded parmesan) (I thought I was supposed to give up fries) (Never), and topped it off with Summit Pilsner gelato. You heard me. The only thing that could have made it better was if it was a Summit Oatmeal Stout gelato.

If you are opposed to water in mason jars, something may be wrong with you.

Besides my lovely experience tonight, I have spent a fair amount of time at St. Anthony Main. In college, I used to run across the Stone Arch Bridge as part of my workout routine. Then, I discovered Pracna, the oldest restaurant on the oldest street in Minneapolis. Who doesn't love history?! Pracna is awesome because of the happy hour, the good food, the patio, and the friendly and knowledgeable bartenders who serve a good list of craft beer.

Then there is Tuggs Tavern, which is a nice place for a drink on the patio. Vic's is delicious. I hear great things about The Aster Cafe. (An amazing patio?) Oh, and throw in a cute theater with character and you've got an awesome spaot to hang out.

Besides the restaurants, there is also that whole look-at-the-breathtaking-view thing going on. I probably take a picture of the river every time I am down there. Maybe we should talk about the free concerts. Or that the Lifetime Fitness Torchlight 5K is going to start and end there this year.

Anyway, this is one of the things that makes me happy--a place that I love.

What places make you happy?

Gaga for Lolla

This past weekend was one of the best weekends of my life. Let me explain.

Have you ever wanted to do something so bad for years and years and finally decide that you have enough time and money and want for it that you actually take the plunge and do it? This is what Lollapalooza 2011 was for me. Ever since I was in high school, I have wanted to make the trek to Chicago for this music festival. I’ve been enamored by music festivals for a long time [read: Coachella, SXSW, Bonnaroo] but have coveted Lollapalooza most. It has never quite worked out though—until now.

On Friday I left my house at 4:30am (I was half hour late, dang!) to round up the troops and make the drive to Chicago. (Yes, I slept for most of it. I just can’t stand car rides!) We arrived a little too late to see the Naked and Famous but still had time to decompress before seeing Foster the People. The rest of the lineup that I saw that weekend included: Cults, A Perfect Circle, OK GO, Coldplay, Grouplove, Maps & Atlases, Fitz & The Tantrums, Mayer Hawthorne & The County, Local Natives, Cee Lo, Atmosphere, Beirut, Noah & The Whale, City and Colour, The Cars, Cage The Elephant, Foo Fighters, Kid Cudi, Cold War Kids and Deadmau5.

I also saw "Show me your tips" and "Just the tip" and many more.

Cults!

Coldplay and the famous balloons.

Grouplove was definitely one of my favorites.

We left the festival to get a real drink, since they only served Budweiser, Bud Lite and Bud Lite with Lime. (Oh, and wine in sports bottles).

Light up the night.

It was like my iTunes came to life. I missed some bands I wanted to see and went to some bands I only half-cared for, but I was just lucky to be there so it didn’t even matter. The best part of it all was that on the last day of what had so far been a scorching-dehydration-festival, the clouds shifted, the winds started and the rain poured. And poured. We decided to go back to our hotel for a bit to reenergize, but not before hearing Cage the Elephant sing, "Even on a cloudy day...even on a cloudy day..." 

When we came back for the headliners, we stepped into a huge mud puddle because it was empty space no one else wanted to stand in. And then it started to pour, and pour, and pour. And we danced, and danced, and danced.

Since I didn’t face any nasty repercussions of playing in the foul-smelling mud, that carefree night is one I will always have fond memories of. Now I can’t wait to go back next year. Ladies and Gentlemen, mark your calendars for August 3-5!