Everywhere I turn, it feels like a relationship is crumbling into pieces. I've recently heard of a marriage ending after 19 years, another one after five, another one before it begins. (Not to mention the various other relationships that are seemingly in shambles…)
It’s incredibly sad to me when things don’t go the way you plan them to, mostly because I’m a planner and “this is how it was supposed to be.” When couples part ways, it’s not just that they are breaking up from a single person, but everything they are attached to: families, mutual friends, and in some cases pets and homes and even businesses. It’s obviously not something taken lightly; they’ve tried and they’ve tried and exhausted all of their supplies and are ready to close that chapter and look to a brighter future.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. It’s pretty difficult to understand just what that reason is right away, but it comes. I know of a couple who are so good together and marriage is on their near-horizon. The woman in the relationship was once engaged, and looking back, she is glad that it was called off. If her engagement didn’t “crumble,” then she would probably not be in the great relationship she is part of now (and I would not have met her). More personally, I’ve been involved in more relationships than I care to admit, and I am almost thankful that each one of them ended. At the time, I thought the world was over and there was no reason to go on. Seriously...they marked some of my lower points in life. I was going to miss their families and everything we did together. And I did. I missed them a lot. Occasionally a thought of them comes to mind, but it is fleeting. In hindsight, these were just small pieces of my past that I needed to have in order to create the bigger picture.
Mason Jennings captures it perfectly: "The past is beautiful, like the darkness between the fireflies."
I hope each and every one of these people find their way to the fireflies. I know they will.
Although it seems like these heartbreaks are around each and every corner, they are in fact, few and far between. Many people I know are happily married. One of my best friends just got married and is currently still on her honeymoon. Another is having her engagement party this weekend.
Indeed, things do fall apart. So better things can fall together.